i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
