I am puke
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
