think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
