She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
