Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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