My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He better not be in your backpack
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
