So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
