I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Randomize
