You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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