Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
