if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
