"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Girls should come with a carfax report
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
