Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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