Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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