Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
