Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
