remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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