i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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