Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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