she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
