You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize