What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
