:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
