just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
