We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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