i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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