you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
