My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
