playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think I sprained my soul last night
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
