Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Your tits are I can't wait for
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
