I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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