sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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