guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
