We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the day after is always just damage control
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize