Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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