Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
