I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
