Non-Jews are for practice
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
