that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Are we still banned from the library?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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