how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize