So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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