My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize