she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
