when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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