In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
