It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize