i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
