My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
