erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
They have beer where we have blood.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
