It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
being pregnant is like rehab
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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