good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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