i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
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First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize