Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
