I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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