It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
