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just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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