I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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