Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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