Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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