Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
