I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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